Nowadays I was not really sure what I wanted... I just kept looking back to myself and ask myself this question... Do I really want this?.... Every step that I made will determine my future...the question is which do I have to take to ensure my good future....

Looking at people that I know and the ones that I'm really close to, I wonder where I am in when they look at me... Do they regard me as someone who does not make any difference or the only hope in this dark abyss of despair...

I was not sure of myself either...

This phase of my life is not going to be easy as I'm learning to be independent...Of course, I will still have the fear of being kept apart from my parents...Each time I don't get to see my mum, I suddenly felt a total loss. What happends if I got married? Things will be different again...

I agree that this life is full of tests and obstacles...There is no such thing called peace or haven...The only way to earn it is through those test and obstacles...As I grew up and understand this harsh nature of the world, it pains me to see my parents toiled in sweat and blood to keep us afloat....At some point of time I felt ashamed to ask them money...

It is not that I don't want to work...I'm really scared of the working world...I'm never got any experiences...It would be hard for me to take harsh critiscism that could turn against me...That's why I just kept myself in my school life....Never wanting to go out beyond that...

As I wished for that to happen, my life has to go on and some day I'm still have to into the working world...

Maybe you said that I should not think any of this as it was not my concern but then again, it would still appear in my head...

I just hoped for the best in my life