I had always have this feeling that I had not done enough for my family...All I know is that I had been taking money from my mum and spend it...But I did manage to save 60% of it so it isn't bad enough...but I still know that something isn't complete yet or so it seems...

Let me tell something...among the four of us, I felt that I'm the little baby...everything did fall nicely on me...which I felt it isn't right...I mean, whatever I wanted, it is already being provided or just there for me to use...I never felt any pressure at all and I'm getting kind of paranoid...

Life suppose to be full of ups and downs and I had my fair share of it already. It is not like I'm asking for more downs but there should be some as I grow up....I depended on my parents for a lot of things and I'm started to think how much time they had wasted on me...20 years....

If I were to be thrown out into the working force, I would be the first to drown...The harsh world out there isn't the normal playground that we used to play in school...Only those who had a bad fall would probably survived...I'm really not prepared but I need something to fall back on my own...

Being force into becoming an adult is a cruel thing...you had to learn everything on your own...but I'm glad my mum brought me up in a harsh way so that I could learn how to live from young...Being responsible and independent had always been the theme....I think this is the time that I will face the music...

From now on, I shall pray hard to get off this phase of life...